


Grounded

by idlewriter



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Changbin is having a hard time but Hyunjin will always be there, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slice of Life, Whump, idek why i tagged them tbh, kind of I guess?, woojin and minsung does only appear briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 20:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18483856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idlewriter/pseuds/idlewriter
Summary: The universe seems really huge, and Changbin needs something to hold on to.





	Grounded

The adrenaline that flows through his veins when he spits verse upon verse rapidly, his hands flying in every direction to keep up with the beat, is unexplainable. The screams, the fanchants making his skin buzz and his pupils dilate. He can tell that his counterpart feels the same as they for a split-second locks eyes on the stage, determined smiled plastered on their lips. _This_ is what they’re living for.

The confidence that radiates from them as they all perform individually yet as one, is mesmerizing. And it shows through their fans, all screaming at the top of their lungs, crying, or just standing there mouth agape with signs in their hands, partly covering their faces.

For a moment it feels like they are the only ones in the world who matters along with their fans, the _only_ people in the world. For a moment he feels comfortable, feels grounded on the sphere that never stops moving; that never stops counting down days, hours, seconds.

Then as all songs do, it comes to an end, and that is when the world starts to crumble. The applause is deafening and their smiles are wide as they wave back at their fans with so much glee and so much admiration. Changbin however, loses himself for a moment, tries his best not to fall out of the dream-like state he was in only a few seconds ago. But the attempt is futile.

 

He is the first one to get off stage, but the last one to get back into the dressing room. His heart is in his throat, but he is not so sure whether it is from adrenaline or anxiety anymore. He can’t remember blacking out, but when he regains his vision he is sitting on the obnoxiously blue couch positioned in one of the corners of the dressing room, the rest of the boys surrounding him. Woojin in the one telling them to disperse to give him some space, and for that he is grateful.

He doesn’t want pity he just needs understanding, and that is where Hyunjin comes in. “Come on” is the first and only thing Hyunjin says after he sits down beside Changbin, handing him a water bottle and a sandwich. He is very aware of the fact that Changbin will take the bottle and refuse the food, but he tries anyway. “Thanks” Changbin replies quietly, not looking the other in the eye as he takes the bottle.

 

His off-stage personality stands in so much contrast to his on-stage personality that Hyunjin can’t help but become surprised. He has witnessed it so many times before, lives it every single day, but it does still affect him in some kind of way. He is so distant, seems so cold, but Hyunjin understands, he truly does, and Changbin knows that.

 

Goosebumps prickle over his skin as fingers make contact with his scalp, gently running through his hair, and the feeling is close to the buzzing in his skin whenever he stands on the stage. “Better?” Hyunjin asks out of formality, knowing well that it is a yes as Changbin’s shoulders sink if only just a little, his eyes closing. There is a nod, a weak one but it’s there, and Hyunjin hums.

It takes a while, it always does; Changbin’s shoulders tensing up every now and then as the adrenaline from their performance wears off. It is almost withdrawal-like; his skin turning sickly pale and his whole demeanor taking a 180-degree turn for the worse, and Hyunjin hates nothing more than watching Changbin hurt.

He looks towards the others for a brief second as they slip out the door one by one, but his eyes shoot back to Changbin when he can feel him lace their fingers together, his hand cold and clammy.

 

“The universe is seeming really huge right now. I just- I need something to hold on to”.

 

The car ride home is quiet and Changbin is exhausted. Minho and Jisung are trying their best to keep their spirits up, and for that Changbin is also very grateful. He doesn’t want anyone to change because he is in a temporary bad headspace, he just wants everything and everyone to be as usual, even though he isn’t. Changbin is exhausted and he falls asleep before they get back to their dorms, so when Hyunjin gently shakes him awake he is momentarily disoriented.

 

“We’re here” he whispers, taking hold of Changbin’s hand as they make their way out of the car. Hyunjin doesn’t know about the buzz the touch of his warm hand sends through Changbin’s skin, about how his pupils dilate as he looks up at him through dark bangs. Neither does he know how he feels so much more comfortable, so grounded only by holding onto his hand. But he tells him like he does every time, by pulling him down for a kiss before they head off to bed.

 

Changbin does for the second time fall asleep, but with arms and legs wrapped around his body and with lips pressed against the crown of his head. He falls asleep to gentle breathing and a steady, calm heartbeat that he isn’t too sure is his own or Hyunjin’s.

**Author's Note:**

> 05:40am is when we write angsty fics apparently...


End file.
